Whose Body Is This?

Redefine Your Body Image Standard

She looked at herself being naked in the mirror. This was six weeks after the birth of her first baby.

The stretch marks on her belly.

The defect of her saggy boobs.

The countless wrinkles on her face.

The hated dimpled-looking skin at her thighs.

“This body does not belong to me”, she obviously was disappointed with her new look.

You are not alone. As a pre-postnatal yoga teacher, I have heard this time and time again. It’s okay to express how you feel, our feelings are real.

Celebrity culture on social media is an example of unreal or a “less — honest” lifestyle from what normal human beings feel day to day. Some celebrities show their Instagram photos with their flat belly and flawless skin tone after a few weeks of giving birth to their children. What they don’t show are their many personal trainers, personal nutritionists, an army of plastic surgeons and tons of money that it took to get them their Instagram body. Inevitably social media has become a main platform where celebrities can influence their followers in whatever direction they want to. In fact, what you are consuming can impact how you see your own body image.

Many pregnant women are stressed out about their changing bodies during pregnancy and many mothers are anxious and maybe sensitive about how others perceive them and what is said about their changing body, size, and looks after their child’s birth. In 2019, the Mental Health Foundation ran an online survey of women after childbirth about their body image and found over 41 percent said they felt more negative about their bodies.

From the first through the fourth trimester (not a typo) pregnancy and birth hormones are still all over the place and postpartum depression is a real issue. A CDC study from 2008–2014, found one in ten pregnant women experienced an episode of major depression. The UK government reports the impact of the mother’s preoccupation with body image can unconsciously transmit to her child and their future.

Let’s look at this on an individual level. Psychologists Fredrickson and Robert defined self-objectification as “the adoption of a third-person perspective on the self, as opposed to a first-person perspective”. This simply means women, whether they are pregnant or not, place greater value on how they look to others than on how they feel or what they can do. For example, you might see your breasts are sagging, but you didn’t realize how they provided 5–8 meals a day to a little human being. You might see the stretch marks as scars on your belly instead of realizing how your amazing body carried out and facilitated another human being living and growing inside. Jade Beall, body positivity advocate and photographer of book “The Bodies of Mothers : A beautiful body project” uses only untouched photos; every wrinkle, scar, stretch mark, and fold — their so-called beauty is in their imperfection.

Your body belongs to you. You have the right to set your own body image standard. Focus on what your beautiful body can do instead of comparing it to unreal social media images. Dr. Lindsay Kite, Ph. D in Communication from the University of Utah and co-founder of Beauty Redefined, stated this mantra to all women: “My body is an instrument not an ornament”.

Here are five ways for women to redefine our body image standard.

1. Embrace who you are and how you feel.

2. Surround yourself with positive people. It is easier to appreciate who we are when we surround ourselves with supportive people. They appreciate who you are, enjoy your company, and never judge how you look or even what you wear.

3. Build up the fence to protect those voices in your head that tell you your body is not “enough”. Too big, too small, too short, too tall, too saggy… All bodies are good bodies.

4. Follow people who totally support a positive body image. Unfollow the person who does not give you positive power from all kinds of platforms; in real life as well.

5. Take Up Your Space. This means: be vulnerable. The capacity of being physically or emotionally wounded is a strength, not the weakness. It also means: stand up and speak out on how you feel. This requires courage and strength. Make true human connections. This is what it means to take up your space.

To all beautiful pregnant women, remember that you are using your body to grow and nourish a human being. Your amazing body will change both physically and chemically to accomplish this goal. Redefine your body image as your body is redefining itself.